I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Shame - the story of my life.
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