This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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