Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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