PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
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i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."