Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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  (419): Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase. http://tfl.nu/7f2q
  Replies (32) Good night (649) Bad night (2595)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.

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  (772): I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring. http://tfl.nu/9i68
  Replies (10) Good night (2288) Bad night (836)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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  (440): Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/5zyy
  Replies (23) Good night (3572) Bad night (728)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

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  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (966) Bad night (2862)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (3738)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Am i fat?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Well i wouldnt let you on top

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  (248): Am i fat? (1-248): Well i wouldnt let you on top http://tfl.nu/1yk2
  Replies (36) Good night (1858) Bad night (9501)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3765) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.

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  (410): You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers. http://tfl.nu/ew7x
  Replies (6) Good night (769) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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  (760): drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care http://tfl.nu/5385
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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  (917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1569) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!

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  (614): Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together! http://tfl.nu/qkst
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.

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  (517): for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative. http://tfl.nu/mxb3
  Replies (5) Good night (285) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.

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  (614): Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane. http://tfl.nu/2bgv
  Replies (6) Good night (1564) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.

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  (508): The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids. http://tfl.nu/p5pk
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.

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  (727): Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works. http://tfl.nu/i4yt
  Replies (2) Good night (202) Bad night (345)

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