I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
