Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart. http://tfl.nu/xtrr
  Replies (13) Good night (3521) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS. http://tfl.nu/1n4d
  Replies (12) Good night (1137) Bad night (3561)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner. http://tfl.nu/h169
  Replies (17) Good night (2823) Bad night (4489)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  so i told him i still liked him. he laughed

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  well, your crazy. what did you expect?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): so i told him i still liked him. he laughed (1-954): well, your crazy. what did you expect? http://tfl.nu/3mre
  Replies (52) Good night (726) Bad night (3552)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children. http://tfl.nu/trxp
  Replies (24) Good night (8045) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed http://tfl.nu/muwj
  Replies (21) Good night (5092) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf
  Replies (7) Good night (4442) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970
  Replies (7) Good night (4140) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony.. http://tfl.nu/riwy
  Replies (5) Good night (4757) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'? http://tfl.nu/4fhn
  Replies (18) Good night (1778) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger... http://tfl.nu/ymen
  Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends! http://tfl.nu/6jqq
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win? http://tfl.nu/gfqe
  Replies (12) Good night (720) Bad night (289)

Randomize