he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.