Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a

Replies (11) Good night (2706) Bad night (584)
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(561): View more from Florida

i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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(561): i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM http://tfl.nu/acmo

Replies (43) Good night (1351) Bad night (4010)
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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf

Replies (33) Good night (3806) Bad night (1099)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job

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(862): My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job http://tfl.nu/i0ci

Replies (56) Good night (4893) Bad night (1423)
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(330): View more from Ohio

you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

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(330): you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there. http://tfl.nu/1912

Replies (7) Good night (6153) Bad night (1074)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.

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(678): Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action. http://tfl.nu/m88z

Replies (26) Good night (5564) Bad night (1723)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

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(270): I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut. http://tfl.nu/p9pu

Replies (17) Good night (1034) Bad night (2278)
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(573): View more from Missouri

You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

(816): View more from Missouri

Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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(573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m

Replies (6) Good night (3036) Bad night (715)
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(916): View more from California

let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

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(916): let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again. http://tfl.nu/i76s

Replies (4) Good night (2197) Bad night (599)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

This is what happens when wu tang raised you

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(920): This is what happens when wu tang raised you http://tfl.nu/8sl4

Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (293)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Both.

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(908): Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face? (1-908): Both. http://tfl.nu/3nxm

Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (238)
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(408): View more from California

if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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(408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5

Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (427)
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(720): View more from Colorado

In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.

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(720): In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day. http://tfl.nu/haxq

Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (225)
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(289): View more from Ontario

Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.

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(289): Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/zzea

Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (206)
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(509): View more from Washington

I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?

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(509): I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right? http://tfl.nu/yvyh

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (648)

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