so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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