Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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