Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
These tits shall not be calmed
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Come on in and take your pants off
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