Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
