Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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