i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
