he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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