You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
