oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
