dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
