thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
