Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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