So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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