Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
