Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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