i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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