Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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