Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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