i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
