Banned from zoo.
Again?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
