i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we're making bets on your personal life
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
