What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
