He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You're like the curious george of whores
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
