she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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