Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
