I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
