Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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