so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize