It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
