her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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