Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
