Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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