OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
