Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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