ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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