Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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