He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
