Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
