i don't like sucking hair
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
