I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
