I'm really into asian looking animals
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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