im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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