i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
