one might say we're banned from that church
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
