I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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