If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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