Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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