so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
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Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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