I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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