weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
