oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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