Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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