Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize