ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
