Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
