i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
