but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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