making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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