I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
