i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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