I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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