i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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